Chronicles of the Space Cowboys

Tom sat on quarterback until the tenth round, took Jalen Hurts, then sat some more and took Justin Herbert in the thirteenth. Both fell a full three rounds past where they normally go. He has two starting quarterbacks for the price of a bench receiver.

Rounds one through four — Puka Nacua, James Cook, Drake London, Nico Collins — are four straight picks that all made sense, which is honestly rare at this table. The catch: only four running backs on the whole roster.

Picking seventh, Jurell came back around the turn with Jaxon Smith-Njigba and Christian McCaffrey. That is a very good two minutes of work. Malik Nabers then somehow lasted until 6.02 and Cam Skattebo until 7.07, both more than a round past their numbers.

Then there is the quarterback situation. The entire quarterback plan is Jaxson Dart, taken 11.07. One quarterback. A rookie-contract quarterback. No backup. Bold does not quite cover it.

Bijan Robinson at 1.02 and Justin Jefferson at 2.07 is the foundation everybody in the league wanted and only one person got. Six running backs, two quarterbacks, two tight ends. Suspiciously competent throughout.

The one eyebrow-raiser: George Kittle at 6.07, fifteen picks before the board said tight end. James wanted Kittle. James was not going to be talked out of Kittle.

Ja'Marr Chase was the first receiver off the board at 1.04, Lamar Jackson arrived in the fourth, and D'Andre Swift somehow lasted until 9.04 — eighteen picks past his number. Six running backs behind it. Solid night.

He is also the only manager who has touched a roster since the draft ended. The league's one and only waiver claim: added Trevor Lawrence, dropped Josh Jacobs. He traded a starting running back for a backup quarterback. He already has Lamar Jackson.

First overall pick, first name on every cheat sheet in America. Jahmyr Gibbs goes 1.3 on average across the entire internet and went 1.01 here. Shawn spent his sixty seconds deciding whether to spend the sixty seconds. Trey McBride at 3.01 was the first tight end off the board and a genuinely sharp call.

Then it got repetitive. By the final round the roster held seven wide receivers and exactly one quarterback. Drake Maye is about to become the most important person in this household.

Somebody had to take a quarterback eventually, and at 3.08 George blinked. Twenty-three picks went by without a single one, then he took Josh Allen and got the best quarterback on the board for his trouble, so it is hard to argue with the man. The 1.08/2.01 turn brought Amon-Ra St. Brown and Derrick Henry, then Ashton Jeanty at 4.01.

He also drafted Tyler Warren in the sixth and Travis Kelce in the eleventh, because one tight end is for people who trust things. Carnell Tate at 7.08 was fourteen picks early and the one pick on this roster nobody else understood.

In the seventh round, with Cam Skattebo, D'Andre Swift, Jalen Hurts and Jaylen Waddle all sitting there, Sam drafted the Denver Broncos defense. Thirty-three picks before anyone else in America takes that unit. It is the single boldest pick of the night and we will be revisiting it weekly.

He then drafted a second defense in the fifteenth round, which settles it: nobody is sneaking a defense past Sam. Saquon Barkley at 1.05 was eight picks early, but if Saquon is Saquon, nobody will remember. And the back half — Dobbins, Blake Corum, Mark Andrews, Xavier Worthy — is a pile of names he clearly had circled and refused to gamble on.

The top of this roster is excellent and that is the part that matters: Jonathan Taylor at 1.03, CeeDee Lamb at 2.06, Kyren Williams at 3.03. Then the fifth round arrived and Romie took Dak Prescott twenty-nine picks before the rest of the world does. Malik Nabers, Garrett Wilson and Tetairoa McMillan were all still available.

He kept going: Jordan Addison twenty-five picks early, and Brian Robinson Jr. in the thirteenth, a full twenty-one picks ahead of a player the internet ranks dead last among everyone drafted here. Romie does not consult the board. Romie has opinions.